Princess of THE King

So it's been a while since I posted anything. Sorry about that. I don't have many blog followers, but this is more for me to put my thoughts into words than anything. If my posts bless or help anyone in someway, then praise be!

This past weekend, I was privileged to attend the women's for my mother's church. My sister-in-law also got to come. It was an AMAZING weekend of tears, cheers, and for me, growth. See, my God is a loving, patient, all knowing God. He has His PERFECT plan for my life, and as I listen to Him, it's all playing out. Bit by bit, brush stroke by brush stroke, God is molding me.

In April 2009, I was able to attend the women's retreat for my church. I was engaged at the time and we had a fantastic speaker. I fully remember the theme being "when life throws you curve balls".   Later that year, it was June, the wedding was called off. Whoa! Huge curve ball! Looking back now, my loving Father was helping me learn how to better deal with those curve balls, little did I know about that one I'd get.

Fast forward to this weekend. I had no idea who the speaker was and very little about the theme. We arrived to the retreat center after the first session was already closing. My mother asked about what we had missed and we were told a little about the speaker. After hearing about little about her background, my mind began recalling bits, and then I saw her name. It was the same speaker I had heard 3 years previous. WOW! *Okay God, you've got some plan here!*


The weekend's theme was "My Prince has come...and His name is Jesus". Jenny Broughton, once again, did a fabulous job speaking. She is an amazingly strong woman who has had many curveballs thrown at her. I needed this weekend more than I knew. I cried. I laughed. But most of all, I finally emptied a cup that desperately needed emptying. I know I won't get all the answers and closure my heart longs for. Yes, rejection hurts on so many levels and it can take a very long time for those wounds of rejection to heal. I chose to be better, not bitter. I'm choosing to keep on keeping on, to pursue Him. He is the ONLY person that NEVER lets you down. I will lean on Him through the heartache, sorrow and joy. I may not have an earthly mate to live life with right now, but I can, and should, share all my joys and sorrows with my King. I will continue to let Him mold me into the precious princess He created me to be.

I want those "princess perks." What are the princess perks? Well here you go! Protection, provider, planning, palace (my house, not a real princess castle palace!) peace, prayer, His presence, power He provides all these for His princesses and princes. So you see, this weekend was very eye opening to me. What finished emptying that cup was a poem titled "Single Woman's Prayer". The woman who wrote it was in attendance this weekend.

 I will leave you with her poem.

 Single Woman’s Prayer
By Christina Sparks
LORD AS I SIT AND WAIT FOR HIM TO SAY

THAT HE’S COME TO TAKE MY HAND TODAY

DRAW ME CLOSE TO YOU AND RENEW MY HEART

PREPARE ME FOR MARRIAGE SO I CAN DO MY PART

BIT BY BIT PLEASE MAKE ME NEW

MOLD ME AND TEACH ME ALL ABOUT YOU

WHEN I’M A WIFE AND MOTHER OF TWO

I WILL TELL MY CHILDREN OF ALL YOU DO

AS I CRY AND SCREAM THAT IT’S GETTING LATE 

REMIND ME HEAVEN DESIGNED MY MATE 

ONE THAT WILL PRAY WITH ME EVERYDAY

EVEN WHEN BUSINESS HAS CALLED HIM AWAY 

LORD AS I SIT AND WAIT FOR HIM TO SAY

THAT HE’S COME TO TAKE MY HAND TODAY

I WILL KEEP A SMILE UPON MY FACE

YOUR LOVE FOR ME I WILL EMBRACE

READING YOUR WORD, SINGING YOUR PRAISE

THAT WILL CONTINUE ALL MY DAYS

LONGING IN MY HEART FOR MY HUSBAND TRUE

ALL MY FAITH REST IN YOU

I WON’T GIVE UP, I’LL CONTINUE TO BELIEVE

THAT YOUR PROMISE OF MARRIAGE I WILL RECEIVE

GLORY TO MY FATHER HIGH ABOVE

I’M SENDING YOU ALL MY LOVE

AMEN

Single Woman's Prayer

"Buck" the fim

I just got back from seeing this amazing documentary on Buck Brannaman. He's kind of, well not just kind of, he IS the horse whisperer. He shows horsemen and horsewomen a kinder, gentler way of handling these huge creatures who are more sensitive than humans. (Horses very easily pick up on human fear and insecurities.) He says that your horse is a reflection of your soul. If that is true about horses, how true is that for other creatures and humans we are around?

As an educator, I saw so much wisdom in how he trains and starts colts. As a First Grade teacher, I teach children how to read as well as the basics of math and science. I have to build confidence and at times push these young, impressionable souls to do something they sometimes don't think they can do. Just like Buck shows clinic goers how to build trust in their horses in a kind, gentle way, I too, must build trust and confidence in my students so they KNOW they can do what I'm asking and expecting of them. In the documentary, Buck says that parents must be parents first before they can be their child's friend. This builds a TRUE self confidence that will take any child to the moon and beyond. Show your child, students, horse, that you first believe in them, even when failure happens, and soon that failure will become success. Allowing a horse (or child) to stop after failure and not push on creates insecurities and self doubt. When pushing on and continuing to try to and succeed, how much more proud are we of ourselves after? This film has renewed my passion for teaching and showing the young students that come to my classroom that I care about them and will do everything I can to help them succeed and that I'll be there and support them when they fail, but will help pick them back up and support them to try again.

One of these days, I'd love to just go be an observer at a Buck clinic to see what other tidbits of wisdom I can pick up and apply to teaching my students.

Thank you Mr. Brannaman. Thank you!

My New Home

I was an apartment dweller for nearly 7 years. In October, I was able to purchase my first house! What a great feeling that was. I have worked hard to make it home, and as always there is more to be done. It was a rental before I bought it. The inside SCREAMED paint me, please! Moving from my apartment came during the loss of my wonderful, precious, 93 year old grandmother. I was in Kansas for the funeral, then had to fly back for moving the next day. I already had help lined up. I lived with my parents for three miserable...ummmm I mean three weeks. In the process, my cats got more acquainted with mom and dad. And while I had an empty house, it got painted! There is still much to be done, but it's home to me! Enjoy the pictures!

Re-covered

Hello blogging world! I realize it has been so long since I wrote. Much has happened in the last several months, but that shall be covered soon enough. Tonight, I took on a domestic project. I have this nice Lane Cedar chest I got for Christmas many years ago. This girl still likes blue, but as I've become a homeowner and started doing more decorating, I've started using more earth tones, so this lovely blue chest has to get recovered. This involved fabric and a stable gun, and of course my wonderful felines trying to help. Here's how it all went.

More posts to come!

I feel like an adult now!

Here I sit, a couple days after my wedding should have been, feeling like an official adult, at 30. Why? Well, I am purchasing a house! I have lived in an apartment for 6 years, the housing market is just right for first time home buyers and there is money from the government for first time home buyers. I found the right house and I'm SUPER excited!


I am on vacation right now. I spent a wonderful 4 days with my aunt in Independence, MO and am currently at my sister's, while dealing with the purchase of my first home! As I type this, I am waiting for a phone call back from my realtor as the paperwork is being completed. Technology is such a good thing!

So how am I doing in other ways? Well, I'm still hurt, but it gets better every day. I know that things do happen for a reason and through all the fire I can come out one of two ways. I can come out worse than I was or I can chose to go on with my life and not become miserable because of my circumstances. I have chosen not to become miserable with with lemons thrown at me. I chose to hopefully glorify Christ in how I react and have dealt will all that has been given to me. So right now, life is good. I'm taking it one day at a time. And right now, I have house paperwork to print and sign!

Help for the hurting heart

Life. Is it ever fair? Does it go the way WE would like for it to go? Does it stick to OUR plans? Unfortunately the answer to that is no. Here's why. As much as we love to believe it, we are not ultimately in control. God, the creator of the universe, who can make the mountains bow to Him, who can stop a hurricane is in complete and total control of this whole universe. He is THE creator. He uses us, His people for His glory.

I was six weeks away from being married. I was excited and looking forward to beginning life together. Then I hear the words, "I need to talk to you". I didn't have a good feeling about it. Let's just say the wedding went from postponed on Saturday to off completely on Friday. Now, I'm not going to say I'm not a basket case. I'm not going to say I'm not angry or bitter, but I'm not going to hang on to those feelings and live in misery. Yes, it hurts and I cry. I'm very sad. I don't understand why things are the way they are. I know that I am in control of my actions and how I handle this from here out. I will not dwell on the hurt as easy as that could be. I am surrounding myself with people who love me as I am, who care about me. Who want to see the healing begin.

I want to be able to glorify Christ in how I handle myself. I know that if I didn't have Christ, I would be a horrible emotional wreck. My strength is not my own.

I know the healing process will take time. This morning I woke up feeling sad and I'm not even completely sure why. Maybe it's that I feel I deserve answers from him, that to this point I still have not gotten. Maybe it's I had spent so long preparing for another stage in my life and here I am back to square one and I don't know where to even begin. Maybe it's just being a woman and those stupid hormones are getting the best of me. I don't know what it is. I just know I'm sad. But I also know in my sadness, I can't lose site that I'm a daughter of the King. God is bigger than any of my earthly problems.

I know the events of the last week are still very fresh on my mind. I know time heals all wounds. In the mean time it just stinks.

Why....

....is a question we often ask ourselves only after something happens and doesn't go the way we intended. Why is a question a 3, 4, or 5 year old asks his or her mom or dad because of curiosity. In my humble opinion, we don't, as adults, ask ourselves why often enough. Why did he react that way? Why did she say that? Why is that? Why is this? Sometimes asking why before reacting, being hurt, getting upset is the better way to figure out why something happened or was said, rather than throwing a tantrum. Asking why is something I haven't used enough, but rather, have done the get upset, be frustrated thing, rather than taking a moment to take a breath, and ask why. Why is something I'm learning and asking, wondering and praying. And in due time I hope I know why. I'm growing. I'm learning. I'm trusting. I'm praying. I'm wondering why. So the next time something happens to you, before you react, take a moment to pause, take a breath (or two, or three) and ask yourself, why did that just happen? You might be surprised how you react or the answer you receive.