Help for the hurting heart

Life. Is it ever fair? Does it go the way WE would like for it to go? Does it stick to OUR plans? Unfortunately the answer to that is no. Here's why. As much as we love to believe it, we are not ultimately in control. God, the creator of the universe, who can make the mountains bow to Him, who can stop a hurricane is in complete and total control of this whole universe. He is THE creator. He uses us, His people for His glory.

I was six weeks away from being married. I was excited and looking forward to beginning life together. Then I hear the words, "I need to talk to you". I didn't have a good feeling about it. Let's just say the wedding went from postponed on Saturday to off completely on Friday. Now, I'm not going to say I'm not a basket case. I'm not going to say I'm not angry or bitter, but I'm not going to hang on to those feelings and live in misery. Yes, it hurts and I cry. I'm very sad. I don't understand why things are the way they are. I know that I am in control of my actions and how I handle this from here out. I will not dwell on the hurt as easy as that could be. I am surrounding myself with people who love me as I am, who care about me. Who want to see the healing begin.

I want to be able to glorify Christ in how I handle myself. I know that if I didn't have Christ, I would be a horrible emotional wreck. My strength is not my own.

I know the healing process will take time. This morning I woke up feeling sad and I'm not even completely sure why. Maybe it's that I feel I deserve answers from him, that to this point I still have not gotten. Maybe it's I had spent so long preparing for another stage in my life and here I am back to square one and I don't know where to even begin. Maybe it's just being a woman and those stupid hormones are getting the best of me. I don't know what it is. I just know I'm sad. But I also know in my sadness, I can't lose site that I'm a daughter of the King. God is bigger than any of my earthly problems.

I know the events of the last week are still very fresh on my mind. I know time heals all wounds. In the mean time it just stinks.